Putting your healthcare wishes in writing is an important part of planning ahead. Talking about those wishes with the people you trust can be just as valuable.
According to Duke Health, advance care planning includes discussing your healthcare wishes with family, close friends, faith leaders, and members of your care team. These conversations can help others understand what matters to you before they ever need to rely on that information.
The documents provide a record of your wishes. Conversations can help the people around you better understand the priorities and values behind them.
Why Talk About Your Healthcare Wishes?
The people closest to you may know a great deal about your life without knowing how you feel about future healthcare decisions.
They may know where you want to retire, how you spend your weekends, or what traditions matter to you. Your feelings about serious illness and medical care may simply never have come up.
That can leave room for assumptions.
Talking about your wishes gives you a chance to explain what matters to you in your own words. You can discuss your priorities, concerns, and the things you would want someone to consider if you could not speak for yourself.
These conversations may also reveal questions. Someone close to you may interpret a preference differently than you intended. You may realize that a phrase that seems clear to you means something different to another person.
Talking now gives everyone time to ask questions without the pressure of an immediate medical decision.
The Conversation Can Start With the People Closest to You
Duke Health encourages discussions with family and close friends as part of planning for future healthcare. That does not mean you need to gather everyone together for one formal conversation.
You can start with the people who are most likely to be involved if your health changes.
A spouse or partner may need to understand your wishes. Adult children or siblings may also benefit from knowing what matters to you. Even when someone will not have a formal decision-making role, knowing that you have thought about your future care can help reduce uncertainty.
The conversation does not need to answer every possible medical question. You might begin by discussing what is most important to you when you think about your health and quality of life. You could also talk about concerns you have or experiences that have shaped your views.
What matters is giving the people close to you a clearer understanding of your perspective.
Talk With the Person Who May Speak for You
Choosing someone to make healthcare decisions on your behalf is only part of preparing that person for the role. Conversations about your priorities and preferences can provide valuable context if they ever need to speak for you.
Duke Health recommends sharing an advance directive with the healthcare agent you have chosen. It also encourages people to discuss their healthcare wishes with those close to them.
The document establishes important instructions and authority. A conversation gives you room to explain your thinking.
You can talk about the priorities you would want your healthcare agent to keep in mind. Give that person an opportunity to ask questions. You can also make sure they understand the responsibility and feel comfortable with it.
Other people close to you may benefit from knowing whom you have chosen as well. Clear communication ahead of time can help everyone understand who you trust to speak for you if the need arises.
Your Healthcare Team Belongs in the Conversation, Too
Advance care planning does not have to stay within your family.
Duke Health also encourages people to discuss their healthcare wishes with members of their care team. Once an advance directive is complete, Duke recommends giving a copy to your doctor and making it available to your medical team.
Healthcare providers can contribute something different to the conversation.
You may have questions about a medical condition, treatment, or terminology that family members cannot answer. A healthcare provider can help you understand what certain choices could mean for your care.
These conversations do not have to wait until you face an urgent decision. Asking questions when you have time to consider the answers can help you make more informed choices.
Your provider can also benefit from understanding what is important to you. Advance care planning works better when the people involved in your care know both your medical needs and your healthcare preferences.
One Conversation Does Not Have to Cover Everything
Talking about future medical care can feel like a big undertaking. It becomes more manageable when you stop thinking of it as a single conversation that needs to settle everything.
You can talk about different pieces at different times.
A conversation with a family member might begin after hearing about someone else’s medical experience. A routine appointment may give you an opportunity to ask your healthcare provider a question. Talking with the person you have chosen to speak for you may bring up another issue you want to consider.
Those discussions can build on one another.
Your thinking may develop as you learn more. You may also find better ways to explain what matters to you after you have had time to reflect.
There is no need to predict every situation that could arise. The goal is to help the people you trust understand your wishes well enough to support the plan you have made.
Keep Talking as Your Wishes Change
Healthcare preferences do not necessarily stay the same throughout your life.
Your health may change. You may have new experiences with the healthcare system. Seeing a loved one go through a serious illness may also influence how you think about your own care.
When your perspective changes, the conversations surrounding your plan can change with it.
Tell the people you trust if you begin to feel differently about something you previously discussed. If your preferences have changed enough to affect your advance directive, review the document as well.
Duke Health notes that people can change or cancel their living will or healthcare power of attorney and should provide healthcare providers with an updated document. Although the specific legal requirements discussed on Duke’s page apply to North Carolina, the broader point is useful: the people relying on your plan need current information.
Keeping the conversation going helps your loved ones and healthcare providers understand what matters to you now, rather than relying on an old discussion that may no longer reflect your wishes.
Bring the Conversations and the Documents Together
Conversations and advance directives do different jobs, but they work together.
A conversation allows you to explain your priorities and answer questions. Your completed healthcare directives put important choices and instructions in writing.
Then there is one more practical piece: the appropriate people need access to those documents.
Duke Health recommends keeping the original advance directive somewhere safe but accessible. It also recommends sharing copies with your doctor, healthcare agent, and close family members.
Legal Directives supports this part of advance care planning through our Medical Access Program. Members can securely store their completed healthcare directives and access them 24/7. Members also receive an Emergency Wallet Card that connects to their stored directives, three emergency contacts, and other important information.
Advance care planning is not limited to a document or a single conversation. It brings together the choices you make, the people who understand those choices, and the information they may need if they are ever called upon to help.
Ready to learn more about keeping your completed healthcare directives accessible anytime, from anywhere? Explore our Medical Access Program or contact our team with questions.
DukeHealth, “Advance Directive: Living Wills and Healthcare Power of Attorney.” Read the full article here.